My Guardian Angel

About a year ago my grandfather passed away. He had lived with prostate cancer for a while, but during one of his routine check-ups the doctors told him the disease had spread into his pelvis and down his legs. Being the protector of his family, Grampa never shared this information with anyone, nor did he let on to the amount of pain he was in. He only lived a few months longer.

My other grandfather died when I was four, so I don't remember much about him other than what I see in pictures. Because of this, I was always very close with my living Grampa. During the summers and when I was home from school, I would visit him and Nana at least once a week. After he died, it took me a while to accept the fact that he was really gone but I would dream about him multiple times during the week, always very vividly like he had never left us. It wasn't until I visited his grave on the six-month anniversary of his death that the constant dreams stopped. That is until last night.

I was standing in an empty white room with Nana when out of nowhere Grampa appeared. Nana started to cry because she couldn't believe it was really him. I could only smile because I knew it was really him. He told us he was doing great and feeling no pain at all. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him with such a huge grin on his face. He then sandwiched my hand between both of his and told me that I need to stop worrying because everything was going to be OK. Grampa then focused on Nana, said the same thing to her, and that she will be fine without him. He said "I love you" right before I awoke to the falling Christmas lights I strung above my bed.

I have always had a strong religious faith and part of that has been my belief in angels. I truly think that everyone has at least one person up in Heaven watching out for them. Now, for those of you who are skeptical, you might say I had this dream because I happened to watch It's A Wonderful Life last night. However, given the "eerie" things that occurred while Grampa was in hospice and also the night he died, I tend to believe that it was really him as my guardian angel showing up in my dream. Lately I have been stressed and upset at the fact that I still cannot find a job and I think Grampa came to reassure me that, like he said, everything will be OK. What really got me in all of this, was that he held my hand. That was something he had never done in all of the times I can remember spending with him, except for the last day I saw him alive. On that day, I told him I was leaving for a few hours but I would be back to visit and he grabbed my hand and said, "Good, I would really like that." Those were the last words he really said to me because when I did return a few hours later, he was in and out of sleep and due to pain medications he didn't make much sense when he tried to talk.

Nana, on the other hand, has been worried about doing things around the house without him, paying bills on time, and just basic living life on her own. Like he said to me in the dream, he told her that everything will be fine. Today, while I was at Nana's house and she received a check in the mail for some sort of insurance reimbursement that Grampa had always filled out and sent in. Nana of course had to do it herself this time, and she got $400 more than she thought she was going to get. Is that supposed to be a sign that she is going well on her own and can handle it? Yes, I think so.

People can believe what they want to believe, but if Grampa told me things are going to be OK (whether in a dream or not) I have to trust him.